When you start a romantic relationship, the possibilities seem endless. You create a world together and talk about each other and what you’ll do and accomplish together all the time. But over time, there become less and less of these conversations. As a result, we begin talking about our work problems rather than about ourselves, our partner, or our relationship. So what if a simple question couple help get back that magic in our relationship for the long term and ease the tensions of the day? This is what a new Canadian study, conducted by researchers at the University of Waterloo, say anyways.
In their work, published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, the authors show that the easy act of asking the question, “How was your day?” to your partner is extremely beneficial to your relationship. Not feeling enough attention or esteem on the part of the person with whom you share your life seriously with harms the relationship.
According to the survey, carried out on 359 adults aged 18 to 66, this simple question allows the person who may occasionally suffer from a lack of self-confidence to feel listened to and thus valued. By regularly asking this question, we show our partner that we are really listening to them and that we are present.
Asking your partner in an open manner leaves room for them to speak and confide, rather than a close-ended question that calls for a simple “yes” or “no”. According to the researchers, this is much more effective than compliments in boosting self-confidence.
Don’t stop giving compliments. But according to the study, the solution to helping your partner feel better would ultimately lie more in the dialogue, the exchange and curiosity.
Obviously communication is huge in a relationship, but sometimes we don’t know where to start. Sometimes all we need are small questions like “How was your day?” to strengthen the bond of our relationship and rediscover the pleasure of talking to each other.
