If you’re crushing on a coworker, you’re not alone. An online survey found that 40 percent have dated someone at their workplace, proving that it’s a hot hookup spot. Here we provide advice for turning flirtation into a potential relationship.
Testing the waters
Before making a move, it’s a smart idea to suss out whether your coworker has the hots for you too. Some tip-offs might be “if he starts hanging around your work space a lot or asks you to grab lunch or after work drinks,” says Stephanie Losee, coauthor of Office Mate.
It’s also promising if he’s in an unrelated department yet asks your opinion on a project of his – it indicates that he is looking for any excuse to talk to you and values your opinion, says Losee.
You can do your own digging by jokingly saying, “Everyone thinks we’re seeing each other. Crazy, right?” If he casts a smile or seems into the idea, the coast is clear to start flirting and see what happens.
Avoid getting busted
Once you’ve gotten together, keep the info on the DL. “If it turns out to be a two-week fling, nobody needs to know about it,” says Helaine Olen, coathor of Office Mate. And monitor how often you bring him up in conversation. Olen says coworkers often intuit a liaison when one person mentions the other too frequently – for example, “Here’s that report…. John helped with the graphics” or “Where’d you go for lunch? Oh, John loves that place!”
But if you were chummy before, don’t ignore him now – that draws more attention than the occasional friendly moment does. No matter how covert you are, people are likely to catch on, but there’s no need to broadcast it.
When to come clean
Most companies are lenient about dating (except between supervisors and their subordinates), says Lois Frankel, PhD, author of Stop Sabotaging Your Career. “They recognize its ubiquity.” But there may be rules about whom you have to inform and when.
If it gets serious (i.e. several months), it’s wise to tell your boss – even if you don’t have to – before they hear about it from someone else, notes Frankel. Just say “I wanted to let you know that Brad and I are dating. We will be sure not to let it interrupt our work.”
Bonus: office hookups often increase your productivity because you feel more invested in your job.
