Romantic relationships that have blossomed to major commitment are amazing. You have a lover and true best friend all in one. You’re each other’s top priority. However, there’s a healthy boundary in these types of commitments that allows these relationships to endure, and that is having and giving space. Here’s why it’s so important to have this space.
Can lead to codependence
Codependence can be addicting, and there’s no truly healthy relationship that contains this. It’s a deep, psychological reliance on a partner for every decision and activity, and even to share the same emotions. While it’s most common in caretakers of partners with illness or physical disabilities, it may occur between two healthy individuals who have also crossed the line from lovers to dysfunction.
We forget to practice self-care
Quality time together is important, but so is quality time with ourselves. Since there’s so much expectation to spend time with one another, we may lose our sense of self-nurture. Building ourselves up both physically and emotionally is an essential part of learning how to love others in an open, accepting way.
Can dull sexual bond
Without the necessary space, the margin for our own personal sexual energy is crowded out, which can dull even the steamiest of beginnings. It can activate the WesterMark Effect, a name for what is essentially known as what prevents us from being sexually attracted to our siblings. The idea is that when two people domestically cohabitate, without enough space for individuality, they can reach a kind of familial desensitization to one another on a romantic level. The idea of being together is cute, until you both lose that last bit of mystery.
It creates an unspoken pressure
When we don’t give our partners – or ourselves – room to breathe and grow, it puts pressure on us to be everything to each other. This can cause resentment, as well as leave not much room to excel in extracurricular hobbies, work, and other friendships.
We become over-critical
When we spend too much time together and not enough space between us, we can easily become overly critical of the way our partner does literally anything. Most of the time, this increase in criticism is actually one of the first signs that a partner needs space. Rather than starting a fight, take the hint and give some space before coming together and having a thoughtful, intentional conversation.
Our support system decreases
In codependent relationships, we often forget we can also rely on friends and family to meet our emotional and tangible needs. Not only does that create the previously mentioned pressure to fulfill our every need when we don’t reach out to friends, but it also creates a falling-out between friends because we have not been there for them, nor have they had the opportunity to be available for us.
Having shared activities and spending lots of quality time together is a lovely part of a loving relationship. Just ensure to take the time to love, nurture, and care for yourself and your friends as a gesture of support to strengthen your bond. It’s necessary to keep growing as individuals while you grow together.
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