As women, we don’t always feel 100% confident in every aspect of our life. In today’s era with social media, we can feel new pressure to reach certain heights of perfection, which doesn’t actually exist. As a result, we can be left feeling insecure and empty, leading to poor self-esteem and low confidence. According to clinical psychologist Jennifer Galvan, Ph.D., the top three most common insecurities women struggle with are beauty, relationships and intellectual ability. Below we delve into each of the three and find ways to overcome each.
Beauty
It should come as no surprise that beauty is women’s biggest insecurity. We can be our own harshest critic and therefore may struggle emotionally just to feel “good enough”. It’s important to remember to embrace your imperfections and own what makes you unique. Be true to who you are. Recognizing that your qualities are unique to you and owning that with confidence really sets the tone for security. We should work on developing inner beauty more than physical attractiveness, anyways.
Relationships
Women often feel insecure and struggle with the concept of being wanted in relationships. Feeling unloved and unwanted creates an inner conflict where we start to compare ourselves with other women who we perceive as having more than we do, and if we are friends with those people, we sometimes take out our anger on them. We tend to focus more on the things that are lacking in us rather than the things we have. In addition, we search for validation and approval from a partner rather than looking inward at the root cause of our insecurity. Searching for security and reassurance through a partner is similar to putting a Band-Aid on an open wound. A more useful approach to overcoming these insecurities would be to mindfully increasing self-love and compassion. Try to make a list of all of your strengths and positive characteristics and dub it your “confidence file.” Pull it out when you’re feeling insecure in your relationship and allow it to remind your of all of your positive qualities.
Intellectual ability
Many women feel insecure about their ability to participate in intellectual conversations effectively. They fear not being capable of contributing something of value, which should never be the case. This insecurity may emerge due to romantic partners, coworkers, friends or even family. Observing the interactions of others might be a good way to learn how to include new strategies in conversations. Furthermore, focusing more on your own personal goals expands intellectual ability, allows more confidence, and adds depth to your to your inputs.
Women have many insecurities for a variety of reasons, but they can always beat those feelings if they just try. Regardless of how unconfident you feel, remember everyone has their own insecurities. Focus your energy on overcoming yours and allowing space for personal growth.
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