Albert Einstein defined insanity as “behaving in the same way and expecting a different result.” A persistent observation that stays true when it comes to navigating our love life. We can actually say to ourselves that we are never lucky or that we only meet highly toxic people. Or, refuse to lock yourself into this depressing inevitability by taking the lead. So what now? Begin the new year with good resolutions to guard your heart and by encouraging only healthy and caring relationships. Below we provide 11 good resolutions to live by in the new year.
Stop torturing yourself with the “ifs”
“I’m waiting a few more days to see if they will answer me.” “They probably met someone else and don’t care about me.” The speculations that go round and round in your head, apart from taking up your precious time, add absolutely nothing to matter. Stop torturing yourself. You have to know how to accept that you don’t know everything and there is therefore no point in fantasizing for hours about what you cannot control. This will free up a ton of mental space and negativity.
Stick to what you feel
Forgetting speculation about hypothetical schedules, motivations or “signs”, it is much more helpful to focus on our inner feelings. We can thus evoke the iconic “sixth sense” or the feelings of the first impression. With the idea of a person who is truly interested in you and wants to build a healthy and reciprocal relationship will behave appropriately. They will know how to value you, look at you with kindness, offer to see you and respond to you within normal deadlines.
Face the truth
They’re afraid of commitment, they still see their ex often, they party way too much, they crash your dates half the time, they are never the one who suggest making plans… All of these behaviors possibly have a variety of rational explanations, maybe even valid ones, but just because you understand an act does not mean you have to accept it time and time again. Especially if they push you aside, cause you pain or create insecurities.
Be open to change
Do all your exes smoke, wear suits or work in law firms? It might be time to get out of your physical, social or cultural fetish and allow yourself the possibility of being seduced by a different profile. The big argument? If you’re still single, it’s because these common points don’t suit you.
Don’t seek perfection
We all have emotional baggage. Also, it’s likely the person you’re into has a few things in the closet as well. In the sense that they will not exactly come knocking on your door with a diamond necklace, but that does not prevent them from focus on all the positive things they bring you and the sincere desire to see each other before shouting “next” at the slightest annoyance.
Speak up
The best way to succeed in love is to clearly express your wants and needs. If you dream of being in a monogamous couple, don’t pretend you’re cool with the opposite to seduce your crush. Even if they can change their mind, all these points are in reality essential and ignoring them can only create impasses and misunderstandings. It all comes down to being yourself. If this scares you, remind yourself that this is the only way to be truly happy.
Be proactive
The most twisted, complex, and frustrating situations exist in love when you are passive. This can be a strategy, but if it weighs on you it’s still a high price to pay. If you would like to know if he wants to spend the weekend with you or if he still thinks about his ex, the best thing to do is just to ask. At best, you are reassured and can relax. At worst, you are told “yes” or “no” and can move on.
Don’t always listen to your friends
We can of course be surrounded by attentive ears who sometimes provide good advice, but remember that you are the passenger on board, and nobody other than you truly knows what is going on in your relationship besides you and your partner. Those who have been in a relationship for 10 years have inevitably lost control a little, those who fantasize about your crush can push you to maintain a relationship that does not suit you in order to vibrate by proxy. Trust your gut.
Be kind to yourself
Life is just a matter of perspective. If you tell yourself all day long that you are stupid, ugly and not interesting, this negativity flows from you. Without falling into self-centeredness, be kind by loving yourself the same way you would like someone else to love you.
Accept being vulnerable
In a time where we tend to treat meetings and others like job interviews, it is not uncommon to try to enter competition. Like a well-made CV, you present yourself as strong, independent, free. Even if these are commendable qualities, the underlying message also deviates from the fact that you don’t really need anyone. So for your crush, the concept that it is not essentially necessary to insist. Finally, remember that relationships gain depth when we dare to share our fears, sorrow, and our limits. Without flooding the other person with your neuroses, showing yourself in a vulnerable light is a good way to create lasting bonds.
Raise the bar
You love talking for hours about subjects that fascinate you, walking in nature or going to exhibitions. No matter what really matters to you, you deserve to vibrate. An old adage says that we inflict on ourselves the relationships we think we are worth. Aim high, don’t wallow in mediocrity.
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