Naomi Osaka is back on the tennis court after welcoming her first child, a baby girl, with boyfriend Cordae last summer. However, in an honest and vulnerable new Instagram post, the tennis star admitted she does not feel as connected to the game or to herself as she used to – a confusing state she believes is due to “being postpartum.”
“My biggest issue currently is that I don’t feel like I’m in my body. It’s a strange feeling, missing balls I shouldn’t miss, hitting balls softer than I remember I used to,” Osaka said in her post. “I try and tell myself ‘it’s fine you’re doing great, just get through this one and keep pushing’, mentally it’s really draining though. Internally I hear myself screaming ‘what the hell is happening?!?!’ ”
Osaka returned to the court in January, but the four-time Grand Slam champion has struggled to pick back up her game where she left off, and is currently ranked 90th in the world. This Monday, she lost to Ashlyn Krueger in the second round of qualifying for the Cincinnati Open.
The tennis pro explained in her post that she has competed in a handful of matches this year in which she did feel like herself, and she hopes her feeling disconnected is “just a small phase from all the new transitions,” including the different courts she has been playing in.
She mentioned the only thing she can compare this feeling to is “being postpartum.” She honestly said, “That scares [me] because I’ve been playing tennis since I was 3, the tennis racket should feel like an extension of my hand. I don’t understand why everything has to feel almost brand new again. This should be as simple as breathing to me but it’s not and I genuinely did not give myself grace for that fact until just now.”
Osaka ended her post by saying she will continue practicing to get her game back and feel like herself again. “I want to teach my daughter that she can achieve so many things with hard work and perseverance. I want her to aim for the stars and never think her dreams are too big. Nothing in life is promised but I realized I can promise myself to work as hard as I can and give it my best shot till the very end. See you in New York,” she wrote.
Naomi Osaka is expected to play at the U.S. Open in New York City later this month.
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